Do this for your best relaxed self

I’m going to tell you a secret to feeling more relaxed, and it has nothing to do with massages or pedicures or even a bath. But first, I’m going to tell you a story to help you remember the secret. I’m going to tell you about the pickle monster. (Stick with me now – you’ll see why!) I learned about the pickle monster in a book I read as a child. The author is lost to me, but the memory of the purple, green-spotted monster remains.

The pickle monster is an every-day gal  like you and me. She’s got a lot of balls in the air. One day she sees a jar of delicious looking pickles. She plunges her long hand in and grabs a fistful. But she is suddenly caught. No matter how she thrashes about, she cannot pull the pickles out of the jar. Finally, in despair, she lets go of the pickles. Her hand is free.

That’s it. That’s the secret to feeling more relaxed:

Let go of the pickles.

Let’s pretend for a moment that pickles represent all the things that we juggle. We put all we can into the pickle-making process: we launch activities with energy and hope and great intention. But no matter how we want to hold on to the success of everything, the truth is they’re all pickles that need to marinate.

I can’t control my daughter’s happiness while she’s at school any more than I can control a family member’s struggle with depression. I can’t control the end-product of team projects, only my role in them.

But Lord, do I try! And for the thousands of seconds I give to worrying and fretting – I have lost control and my body is tense. My hand is deep in the pickle jar when all the pickles want is to be left alone to become what they will become.


For the thousands of seconds I give to worrying and fretting – I have lost control…my hand is deep in the pickle jar when all the pickles want is to be left alone to become what they will become.

-Ashley Fisher, gomama.love

It feels so good, those moments when I remember to let go. It feels good to say, Ok, I’ve done all I can. I trust the process. I trust that things will be ok.

I regain peace of mind.

This, my friends, is the kind of control that creates a relaxed body and eyes that notice the bright day all around. We gain control by giving up control. Give it a try. Let go of the pickles.


****What about you? Where in your life do you need to let go of control? Post a comment. Reply to someone else’s comment to cheer them on. May our loving energy inspire and lift each other up. go mama!

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