We’ve all heard the quote that two things are certain in life: death and taxes. But do you know about the third?
Change. And everyone resists change.
Today I invite you to embrace any resistance to change that you’re feeling. It’s totally normal and you’re not alone. And by the way, you’re also a great mom. Your ever-changin’ life is beautiful.
Today I invite you to embrace any resistance to change that you’re feeling. It’s totally normal and you’re not alone. And by the way, you’re also a great mom. Your ever-changin’ life is beautiful.Ashley Fisher, gomama.love blogger
Have you ever heard of Change Management? It’s this concept in the business world that (here’s a shocker) people are people, and they bring their full selves to work, emotions and all. And when you spring big changes on them, they resist and go through a process of adjusting to a new normal. If you want a smooth transition, you have to create space for your employees to honor and mourn what’s being lost, even as you welcome what’s new.
This idea is just as important for family life. You don’t have to just grin and bear it when changes happen. You don’t have to get over it or get used to it. Instead, make space for what you’re feeling – find a way to celebrate or honor what you’re leaving behind. It’s a part of self-care and it’s huge.
The change in my life this month
My little girl has started saying “no.” For some reason, I thought that happened closer to 2 years old. And as my ever-independent and stubborn child begins this path in asserting her space verbally, I find myself resisting. Because “no” in my mind has equated to not being the center of her world much longer. How I’ve resisted being that center, missing all that free time and movement I used to have. And yet here I am, wishing it would stay a little longer. I’m going to become the Mom on Mama Mia, watching her daughter get ready for her wedding and wishing she could stop time.
Ok – that’s at least 23 years away, so this is a bit dramatic. But in my mind’s eye, I can feel that it will always be this way. Loving her where she’s at, missing where we were, and looking forward to all that’s ahead for her and our family. Here I am, resisting this change and all the ones to follow.
When my daughter was born, I left behind long hours spent with my husband, often cooking meals and then talking while he lay on the dining room floor, too full to sit in the chair any longer. I left behind the ability to spontaneously leave the house to go for a run or to see a show. And now, I am leaving behind this short year with my daughter as a baby, proudly toting her around and beaming with every compliment directed at her. Enjoying picking out her outfits and the satisfaction of a new superpower: forced sleep by nursing. I’m leaving behind the baby-style conversations we had, her babbling on and on to my encouraging “You’ve got a good point. Tell me more.” How I loved these slices of life!
How I’m honoring this change
My personal “change management” strategy is letter writing. I wrote letters to her while I was pregnant. It’s probably time to write another. I’m not sure how else I might honor the loss of her babyhood. I’d love to hear ideas.
I’m curious, how do you honor transitions as your children grow up? Is there anything you do to celebrate where you’ve been and where you’re going? I’d love to hear. Please post a comment. May our loving energy inspire and lift each other up. go mama!